Elena Kerr does not eat babies' Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
Elena Kerr does not eat babies

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[29 Jul 2013|09:52pm]

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Feel free to leave comments here if you can't find me online and need me for something.

[01 Jan 2012|05:16pm]

Elena Kerr
It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

( Ap Summary and Storylines )

[01 Jan 2012|02:45am]
Where the fuck did everyone go?

One minute there's a fucking bird in my goddamn face--the next all you bitches are gone.





I stole some fuckers camera

but fuck if I know

where the fuck this is.

[21 Dec 2011|12:09am]
[Cracker-Jack Werewolf Woman]

Where the hell are you anyway?

[14 Dec 2011|02:06pm]
[Order 18+]

Found a location for the fucking full moon--just needs some wards and shit if you have the time. It's nice enough to double as a secondary safe-house if something goes goddamn balls-up. So get on that shit so I can teach the stupid how to evacuate. Yeah, even your old folk's Cher.


[Public]

Anyone know where to find some fucking candy-canes?

[10 Dec 2011|08:58pm]
Warded 18+

I leave for a few fucking weeks to check on Sid's kids in fucking Ireland of all fucking places and I come back and its like people are goddamn singing and crying in the streets. The fuck is this shit--did you fuckers drink the goddamn water? Are you going to start singing Kumbaya?


Just Jesus fucking Christ I can't leave you fuckers alone for a goddamn second.





Where the fuck are you anyway? Its goddamn hot.

[28 Oct 2011|02:35am]
[ooc]Small scale fight ring is taking place/being cleaned up in an abandoned building. Its Order/Local NPC fights or Local NPC/Local NPC. If you want your character to have fought? Just make note! If you want your character to crash the fight ring--go for it.



Best. Fucking. Night. In. A. Long. Fucking. Time.

You fuckers owe me drinks.

[23 Oct 2011|01:08pm]
[Spider]


You up for, or know of, good gambling here? Fight ring or cards would probably be good.

Posted about 24 hours after the latest fiasco [16 Oct 2011|04:17pm]
[Order 18+]

Please tell me one of you motherfuckers has Tylenol or vodka.







[Alice]

We need to talk.

Elena went out a second story window: Not getting up from this one [14 Oct 2011|03:39am]


[05 Oct 2011|07:31pm]
[Order 18+ -Candy]

The motherfucking hell did I goddamn miss? I turn my fucking back for a couple fucking days to make sure Sid's kids are alright up fucking Ireland or where the fuck ever that country is and I come back to what? You motherfuckers lost Candy--how the fuck do you lose a girl whose goddamn drinking with you anyway?--and then goddamn prissed around for, what? Two days like a bunch of goddamn asscocks. I've seen better action out of crack whores and you bitches are supposed to be able to, I don't know, do some fucker or another--not that I've seen most of you be much more use than acting as a goddamn dick sheath.


Lets just pretend I didn't hear you unclefucker's talking about oblivating someone without asking their opinions on being goddamn oblivated. Do you have any fucking decency? I mean, I know you dumbshits can't goddamn treat muggles or werewolves with respect to save your motherfucking lives but goddamn Candy and I are fucking people too. Not that you time to fucking notice it.


Heads out of your fucking cracked out assholes before you suffocate. I don't fucking care what you're saying elsewhere--I'm going to get Candy back before the Death Fucks start fucking her up more and a few of you are going to lend your hands before I decide to see if that other fucking muggle will lend me her gun so I can use you for target practice.

[Public 18+]

The fuck is wrong with you people?

In Which Elena has a very loud, very accidentally public, freak out because Egypt has been long [25 Sep 2011|08:48pm]
[Public but 18+]



IF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS EVEN BREATHE ON SID'S KIDS I AM GOING TO END YOU.


  • I will carve the tendons out of the backs of your legs and force feed them to you through your nose.
  • Then I will do the same to any goddamn muscle group I can find in your arms.
  • Then, if you're very fucking lucky, I'll gut you like I did to Dick-Chest in New York--only this time I'll stand there and watch you bleed out like a the fucking cock-sucking pig you are.
  • If you're unlucky I'm going to be making an anatomy study of your fucking wand hand/arm.



    Argy-Barg. That fucker at the convention was just full of shit, right?

Warded 18+ because she's classy like that even trashed [26 Aug 2011|07:41pm]
( Cut to save Flists )

[25 Aug 2011|12:48pm]
[Tartan Fury + Columbo + Alice-Alice]

Gonna need some help warding up a goddamn building if you're expecting two of three werewolves to not be in your shit tomorrow night.


[Warded against Order and Death Eaters]

Egyptian Werewolves or...what the fuck was it. Were-Coyotes? If you've got one of these fuckers--write me.

Elena is tackling errbody off the stage [09 Aug 2011|08:52am]

[06 Aug 2011|12:23am]
[Warded to Order 18+]

If you need something magic'd that doesn't require advanced spelling or potions brewing: Let me know.

If you need some shit broken: Let me know.

If you need someone roughed up: Let me know.

If you need help on actually getting a motherfucking escape plan figured out: Let me know.

Don't let me know if you want something cooked.

Don't let me know if you need your goddamn socks cleaned.


Look, I'm pretty shit at magic besides the general bullshit but if I'm one of the few people around here that can wave a fucking wand without sending the fucking pigs here I will do what needs to be done--but I have to know what is needed. I'm also one of the few fuckers you have whose face no one knows. Use it. It's not like I have much else to do here except make myself goddamn useful so don't get your tits twisted over it.

For the people who've asked or matter: I've been straight up with you. Be straight up with me and I'll pull my weight.

[01 Aug 2011|01:51pm]
[Order + Whoever else gets invited]
(We're going to pretend that this is after Bootcamp has happened a bit more than originally scheduled. Also, I made crap up. If you want something else? Let me know!)

So once upon a time I ran a fight ring. After a few practices I'd make a cake and we'd celebrate a good start to a good ring--before the fights came up. So, surprise, here's some cake for everyone who came to my fucking bootcamp. I guess the lazy asses bones can come too. Check your name, grab some cake and have some fucking fun. All work and no play means everyone goes goddamn crazy--so live it up.

Mr. Friendly—I think you were almost too happy to run. You should keep it up—exercise makes everything better.
Girlio-Mckinnon—That fist you pulled the first time? Right on track. No help needed. Lady like you will have it when needed.
My-Girl-Yoko—I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bitchen’ girl get the hang of dropping so quick. Who needs to punch? Girl you’ll be able to get the drop on the fuckersm just by being goddamn quick on your feet.
Double-Mint—Were you here everyday? Good hustle.
Cher(Diggle)—I never thought anyone could run so fast while smoking with owls. Pretty fucking impressive.
Patti Smith(Benjy)—Good work--watch the rebound while falling or you're break your own nose.
Specks(James)—Hope you didn't mind the broken glasses.
Sun’n’Shave—Really good job assisting with the kid training—Like you’d already done it. Not too soft, not too hard. Bang up.
Raggedy Anne(Andy)--… you were there.
Band-aids(Sarah Bones)—It was like you were gods motherfucking gift to the injured. I swear if there was a reason you had the gopy-stuff for muscle aches or the baindaids for fucked messed up knees on hand in a split second. It was impressive.
Raggedy Anne(Andy)--… you were there.
Alice-Alice—Do you even go here? Didn’t even need this week.
Lisa-Frank—Fucking boss job with the wards.
Edu—I think you got a head start with the horsepeople.
Rainbow—Your shineyfrog might have won the race.
Moodring(Dora)—Almost broke my nose—which is pretty fucking amazing for one week work.
Dragon(Charlie)—Kept right up there with Moodring. You’ll be capturing Dragons before you know it. I fucking hope there won’t be dragons here
Shoes(Molly)—I have never seen a woman run with so many children. Don’t think you ever damn needed the extra mile ‘cause I’m pretty sure you do that anyway. Goddamn.


Yes. The cake is Pink. Don't ask.

[26 Jul 2011|10:33pm]
[Order +18 - Peter - Candy]

Couple days after the moon I figure we better fucking start exercising so I’m writing up a basic schedule and some of the things that’ll be covered. Also, options for kids because they sometimes want to join in.


First you have two choices for times. Six am or Six pm. It’s summer so it might get goddamn hot. We need to break you bitches into groups anyway so figure out--half morning, half evening unless everyone wants mornings or some shit.

( Details )


Tartan Fury and Columbo are excused on account of being too badass for this shit.

[Private to self]

( Read more... )

[24 Jul 2011|10:48pm]
[Warded to Order 18+ -Candy and -Peter]

So, you dumb asses did something right. I’m fucking impressed because that farm? It’s alright. A lot fucking better than the other options. Ash is fucking pissed--but the bitch can take it. Might learn something and better herself. Don’t have those fucking options back home.

In return, I’m going to tell you how to pull your twats into gear. I know you fucking think the Dogs were full of fucking shit and fucking up all over the place but you know what? We survived five years. We kept our kids safe. We kept our pack together. We made money--and we knew how to fucking work. You fuckers? I’m surprised you haven’t assisted in mutual murder suicide yet.

( Tl;dr Elena is critiquing you )


[Girl-Face]

Sorry about not turning up. I think I fucking lost it for a second. I don’t fucking know. i just didn’t want the fuckers getting the kids. Burned my journal. Took some time to … fuck if I know. I owe you like a million fucking drinks.

Backdated to 7/10 after Recovering Bodies [11 Jul 2011|08:02am]
[OOC: I like getting my characters out of the way when I'm going to be without internet for a period of time. This is a bit early BUT its the best time to get Elena to be quiet in the journals. Anything backdated or pre-Monty's entry is fair game for her comments. This entry is fair game for figuring out which characters go where for the rest of the day(pretend the conversation or whatever is not happening in a burning journal). What Elena is doing from the 15th on will be in an OOC post.

As an explanation: Elena gets the bodies out with the help of Remus and somewhere during that realizes she probably can't help the kids anymore because she has limited money and no way to get a real job. This is not a good realization. Blood all over, blood on some of the toys they left behind, she has a moment where she thinks the best way to keep the kids safe is to make sure no one can find out where they are and burns her journal.]

[10 Jul 2011|01:49pm]


THIS IS NOT A DRILL. ASH GET THE CHILDREN AND TAKE THEM TO WHERE WE DISCUSSED. YOU WANT TO BE AN ADULT? THIS IS THE MOTHERFUCKING TIME. BE CAREFUL, BE FAST, AND IF YOU SEE ANYONE YOU KNOW FUCKING RUN. I DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE POLICE--JUST FUCKING GO.

I'M GETTING SID. ASH LOG AND LOCK YOUR JOURNAL. I'LL COME FOR YOU THIS EVENING.

[03 Jul 2011|10:43pm]
Hope you enjoyed bleeding out as much as dick-chest~



[Order + Dogs]

Lost a big payday because of your shotty-fucked-up magic. If you can't fucking fight at least get your wands working. Pathetic . Luckily Wizards all bleed the same.

Props to Sid and Green for getting shit done.

Posted 7/3 Mid Morning [02 Jul 2011|11:53pm]
[Warded to Order excluding Candy]


If you're going to have Candy--fucking control her. Ash stays here out of her own goddamn choice. We don't make her stay. You claimed Candy as your own so I'm fucking taking this as your stance. Sid has a deal with you but I'm starting to think you're worse than the Death Munch Bitches.


[Dogs]

Kids, time to trade house for a while.

[01 Jul 2011|09:25pm]
[Warded to Dogs]

I'm staying in tonight and ordering horrific foods and lots of alcohol.


[Warded to Sid + Green]

Get Green to go with you for the drop tonight. He can back you up better than I can and I can't handle that dickfuck tonight.

[27 Jun 2011|11:02am]
[Meant to be warded Private, Warded to those over 25]

I should not murder the kids. I really shouldn't fucking murder the kids. I am going to murder the kids if they don't keep motherfucking biting each others fucking tails and seeing how each one reacts.

[Public]

FYI fuckers: If you're going to be at home base better get your ass over here early.

If you're staying home good luck. Call bitchtit magic wolf or a motherfucking locksmith.

If you're going au'naturel good fucking luck.

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